sunday night.

finally home.
i feel so random.
happy. sad. dizzy. weird. sleepy. tired.
im happy because i just finish my sunday service for today. i dont know. i always feel that after serving God.
sad, because he stand beside me and it make me feels awkward. i dont know, he act weird. dont know whats the reason. i already try to act normal, but still.. he act weird..hoaaah, its okay. im fine.
im dizzy and sleepy of course because too many sleepless nite. i should take a long rest then i will feel more fresh and better. i guess. i dont really know. when im in outside my house, i always feel sleepy then i really wanna go home, i miss my bed. but when i arrived at home, sleepin around under my blanket, my eyes is suddenly fresh and wont close. i already try to hear music, but isnt working. im singing inside my heart.
silly :|
im tired of being like this. like what ? i dont even know. all that i know is just like this, like my life now. some feeling like lonely, bored, sad, cold, aaah so random..
maybe today is the last day i talk to you. i just want to keep this feeling until they disappear. will it disappear ? hahaha ask that sky.. i still love you now. but i dont know about tomorrow.. it will be still or not.. im not really sure..
i hope i can be your friend without love feeling in our friendship like this. without the awkwardness between us. yepp time will heal.. we will see..
well, i dont get anything for today. i dont even know what i want. weird. very weird. well, let it be. i dont wanna care about that anymore. i'll do what i want. i just wanna be my self, not nobody else. love it or hate it. i dont care. now i learn to live like this. even its still hurt everytime i see you. yeaahh, i try not to care. i wish i can.